What Does It Mean To Live Within Your Means?

LDS congregations have been counseled numerous times to not live beyond their means.

What does that even mean?

Based on how many people fail to follow this counsel, it might be great to have a little review as to what that means.

Credit Cards

If you cannot pay off your credit card in full every month then you are living beyond your means. Credit cards can be great to earn cash back, airline miles, or other rewards, but if you can't pay it off every single month, then you are hurting yourself. You are literally spending money that you do not have. If you can't earn the rewards responsibly, then say goodbye to the cards.

Housing

Just because the lender says you can afford it doesn't mean you can. They tell you the maximum you can afford each month while doing nothing else. They also don't take tithing into account. Who cares if so and so has a 9 bedroom house with hand-scraped hard wood floors, a gourmet kitchen, and a theater room! Figure out what you need and see if you can fit it into a 15 year loan (or less!). You'll be much happier in the long run and it lowers the risk that you will owe more than your home is worth, even if the market takes a dive. Living beyond your means = buying at the top of the range the bank said you can afford. Jumbo loans can also indicate a problem. Is your house for showing off or is it for housing your family?

Cars

A brand new car immediately depreciates as soon as it is driven off the lot. If you only pay the minimum down payment you are immediately in debt for thousands more than the car is worth. A new car is a luxury item. If you can't pay for it in cash, consider a used car that you CAN afford.

Vacations

If you can't comfortably pay for your vacation in cash, then you shouldn't be going on it. I'm not saying you have to use actual cash, I'm saying that if there is any kind of loan or use of credit (that you aren't going to be able to immediately pay off) involved, that's a vacation you shouldn't be taking. I don't care how great of a deal the airline tickets were, or how much you really want to take your kids to see Halloween at Disneyland. If you don't have the money to pay for it, you shouldn't be going.


Emergency Funds

Do you have an emergency fund set up? Does it have any money in it? You should have an emergency fund for things like that trip to the ER, the blown radiator on the car, the A/C that went out, and the dishwasher that flooded the kitchen. If you don't have an emergency fund that can cover these things, you'll end up going into debt to pay for them. If you can't afford to have an emergency fund, you may be living beyond your means.

Julie Rowe, Prophetess, and the Mormon Doomsdayers : WHY?

Perhaps you've heard or perhaps you are wondering who this Julie Rowe character is. Even the Salt Lake Tribune has caught wind of her. 

Julie Rowe is an active LDS Church member who claims to have had a near death experience in which she had a vision where she saw the end of the world. She has decided to sell her alleged vision for money in two separate books available for purchase on Amazon. Her followers have a secret Facebook group called Among LDS Friends where they discuss their preparations for the end of the world which will supposedly come in September 2015. Many of her followers are liquidating their assets (including retirement accounts), hoarding mass amounts of food and weapons, and are preparing to evacuate urban populations to live in tent cities. 

The LDS Church's only refute to the so-called Prophetess was in a letter to Church Education System  noting that the book(s) are not endorsed by the Church and should not be recommended to students or used as a resource in teaching them. This letter also includes a number of other LDS urban legends, misquotes, and false doctrine. The Church lumped Julie Rowe and her followers in the same category as alleged mission calls to China and other easily discredited rumors. 

I do not know Julie Rowe or what her intentions are. This is not the first LDS Doomsdayer to gain a following, nor will it be the last. I have followed Julie Rowe from afar and am fairly well versed in her teachings. I have not believed them even for a second. Julie Rowe sells her alleged vision for money. This alone is enough to convince me that something is very wrong here. I am quite certain that Julie Rowe and the Among LDS Friends followers have been deceived. 

The big question here is why?

Why has this doomsday movement been so successful? How does one woman convince thousands of people to liquidate retirement accounts at massive losses, sell their homes, and purchase aluminum handcarts? 

Mormon Elite-ism

I have written before about the Mormon Elitist problem. Mormons like to think they are special. It is fairly easy to spot in any LDS ward with individual members claiming exception to certain common rules or church teachings. They even go far as to ask for exceptions from leaders. Just ask any female Temple worker assigned to work with brides. The doctrine of the LDS Church proclaims personal revelation. Combine the sense of Elite-ism with personal revelation and you have a recipe for disaster. People want to feel special by having visions or having a special knowledge of future events. They attribute it to their spirituality, spiritual awareness, and personal righteousness. They read books like Julie Rowe's and it feeds their desire to be among the Mormon elite. They want to experience for themselves what Julie Rowe has experienced. You might even say they seek after signs.  Ordinary dreams suddenly have hidden meanings. Every world event becomes a confirmation of your new-found beliefs. A friend of a friend heard from an undisclosed source that Apostles are preparing their families. Suddenly you are among the "in" crowd. You are one of the people who "know." You are special. 

Social Media

This particular Doomsday group has utilized social media to feed the movement. They created a secret Facebook group. You cannot find this group on a search as it is secret and hidden. You can only be added to it through a vetting process to ensure that you are a true believer. Once in the group, people are free to share personal alleged visions, quotes, and second or third hand information with nothing to back up their claims. Anyone can gain a following on Social Media these days. There are websites dedicated to followers of Julie Rowe where they publish certain information in regards to their doomsday belief. Julie Rowe has done traveling speaking tours and has even utilized group phone calls for which you can pay to participate and hear witness straight from the Prophetess herself. 

Twisting Scripture and Doctrine

These doomsdayers prey on scriptures and quotes used out of context. In fact, some quotes are so old or out of context that they can't even be verified. I have taken some of their quotes and tried to verify them without success. That's pretty scary. Yet, the followers take it at face value. They choose to ignore most quotes and scriptural references in lieu of ones that support their claims. And because of personal revelation anything that can't be supported by scripture or Prophetic quotes is simply attributed to special knowledge. 

The Biggest Deceit of All

Julie Rowe and her followers constantly proclaim that they support and sustain the Prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Julie Rowe would be quietly outraged at anyone calling her a Prophetess. According to her, she is merely a vessel to deliver a message of preparedness. That's where she gets people. She isn't claiming to be a fringe group. She isn't going "against the Prophet." She reiterates over and over again her faithfulness to the Church. That's where she gets people. This is the key to her true success. "She's just one of us." I believe in some cultures they call this a wolf in sheep's clothing. 

I feel badly for the doomsdayers who get caught up in things like this. There will be many people over the next few months or maybe even years who realize that they have been deceived. Some will be in a horrible financial state because of it. Some will have lost friends, or alienated family members over it. They may feel foolish, They may feel angry. They may loose faith. They do not deserved to be mocked or chastised for being deceived. There are already plenty of people out there that are mocking them. What they will need is love and compassion. Will you be able to give it to them? 

When the Temple Isn't A Great Experience

Most of the time when people speak of the temple, they speak of strong feelings of peace, or spirituality, or sacredness. It builds an expectation that your temple experience should be some sort of supernatural spiritual transcendence beyond mortal life.

But what if it's not?

Can you even admit that to someone?

Are you a weirdo? 

Is something wrong with you?

Are you just not spiritual enough?

You may not find it discussed in most Sunday School classes or Relief Society, but there is a large population of LDS endowed members who have had bad experiences in the temple. There are people with personal circumstances in their life that make it emotionally painful to go to the temple. There are people who were weirded out by their first experience in the temple and have never gone back. There are people who just don't like it. There are lots of reasons, but the common thread is that the temple isn't always a great experience. 

I know many of these people.

They are good people.

There's nothing wrong with them.

I think if we were more willing to talk about our negative experiences in the temple, maybe we could resolve some of the underlying issues. There shouldn't be a stigma or shame in saying you simply didn't find or don't currently find the temple to be enjoyable. 

I wish I could tell you something magical to make it all better. But I'm not going to. Instead, I choose to validate how you feel and offer some suggestions you are free to take or ignore.

If your underlying issues stem from ceremonial issues, maybe a way to confront the issue is to discuss your concerns with knowledgeable people who can help share insight and historical context to the ceremony. It may or may not resolve your concerns. And that's okay! It doesn't make you a bad person or make you less worthy of God's love. There is some really interesting information out there about temples throughout history. I went to a presentation once about the history of women and veils. It was eye opening and fascinating. You never know, someone may offer some insight that will change how you see things. 

If your underlying issues stem from personal circumstances and emotional pain, I highly recommend finding a temporary alternative. Where can you find peace and feel God's love? The mountains? The beach? A quiet park? A bubble bath? Set aside a regular time to go there and contemplate your relationship with God. The temple can bring up painful feelings for those experiencing marital problems, a faith crisis, loneliness, or a myriad of other difficult personal situations. I can't tell someone to go to the temple knowing full well it will make them feel pain. That's not the intention of the temple. Don't go just to go and make yourself feel worse. Do something else to help you feel God's love. Work on it. Go back when you feel you might be ready.  

Perhaps you go out of duty and simply don't always have any special feeling or experience. That's okay too. Sometimes we just make something a habit and it just becomes an every day part of life. Having the temple be a habit isn't a bad thing. 

You may have thought the temple was disappointing. There aren't any mind blowing secrets there.  You don't go and rub shoulders with angels or have your mind opened up to visions all the time. That's not what the temple is for. 

I don't have all the answers to make the temple a better experience. That's not really the point of this article. If you take anything from having read this, simply remember that it isn't always a great experience for everyone and that's okay. If you haven't had a great experience, you are not alone. God still loves you. It's even okay to talk about it. If someone reacts poorly and doesn't think it's okay to talk about....well, they are the ones with the real problem. 

Your feelings may never change. God's love for you will never change. The latter statement is what matters most. 

You Can Believe In Traditional Marriage Without Being A Bigot

I'm standing in front of the firing squad for this one.

Today the LDS Church held a news conference to discuss religious liberties and non discrimination laws. I both cheered and cringed along the way.

I have a long history of interest in gay rights and finding common ground and understanding with the religious right. I believe that every person should be treated with kindness and respect as a human being. Hearing the LDS Church take a definitive stand on housing and employment non discrimination laws made me want to cheer. I am embarrassed and appalled that members of the LDS church would ever consider refusing to house an LGBT individual or couple or refuse to employ someone of the same category. I applaud the conference today that irrefutably told these individuals that they were in the wrong as far as the LDS Church was concerned. The Utah legislature is currently set to debate bills which would give these legal protections to LGBT individuals in the State. While there was much speculation on whether or not the law would pass this session, it can now be assumed that it will indeed pass this legislative session.

Halle-freakin'-lujah!

Religious liberties are the topic that tends to make me cringe the most. I wonder how members will misinterpret the statements from today as an excuse to continue in bigotry. The LDS Church has a vested interest in protecting the religious liberties that allow for their foundational belief of eternal marriages performed in the temple. It is vitally important to their basic doctrine to protect the right to limit who can be married in their most sacred buildings. There are other religious liberties they wish to protect as well, like abortion as was mentioned specifically.

There is a huge difference between religious liberties that protect you from are morally and religiously opposed to, and religious liberties that allow you to refuse service to people you are morally and religiously opposed to. The first protects your freedoms to choose and believe in what you want, the second just makes you a messed up bigoted jerk face.

If you are a doctor that believes that abortion is murder and that murder is morally wrong then the constitution should protect you from being forced to murder someone.

If you are a business owner of an event center who believes in traditional marriage, the constitution should not protect you from refusing to rent your facilities to a gay couple because you don't like them.

The first situation is the protection of religious liberties. The second situation is just someone who is messed up.

I cringe that LDS folks may take some of what was said today and use it as an excuse to be mean to the LGBT community. Let's be clear one what our real doctrine is.

Jesus Christ commanded us to love our neighbors as ourselves.

I promise you can attend a gay wedding, be friends with a gay person, photograph a gay wedding, and more without going to hell. For reals. I think you are much more likely to go to hell for refusing to attend a gay wedding, bullying a gay person, and refusing serve to a gay person. But let's face it, Mormons don't really believe in hell so just take hell as meaning not going to the Celestial Kingdom (the top tier of heaven). That's right, I think being mean to gay people can keep you out of the CK.

Bigotry totally exists in the LDS Church. I'm not going to pretend otherwise (as some do). I have seen it time and time again and it makes me want to vomit every single time.

I believe in a doctrine in my church that God has ordained marriage between a man and a woman to be a celestial union that will continue after this earth. I also believe in a doctrine in my church that God loves every single of his children equally. In the eyes of my God I am not superior than my LGBT brothers and sisters in any way. Treating these brothers and sisters as anything less than children of God is unacceptable, un-Christ like, and un-Godly.

I don't think that these beliefs are in conflict with each other at all. I believe they can exist in perfect harmony. I can believe in traditional marriage without being a bigot.

The Mormon Elitist Problem

Sometimes the Mormon community can have a bit of an elitist problem. As "the only true church" we occasionally get caught up in the idea that we are somehow better than others. You can see this in the rhetoric we use at the pulpit on Sundays. 

Just last week I heard two separate individuals stand at the pulpit expressing a testimony in which they proclaimed their belief in the only true church and expressed their commitment to being an example to others. 

A few weeks before that I visited a ward in which a teacher expressed that the blessing of living in close proximity to a temple was a result of her righteousness in the pre-existence.

Something about these kind of statements rubs me the wrong way. They wreak of elitism. 

What happens when individuals proclaim to be an example to others, and then inevitably fail to live up to the standard they proclaim to exemplify? It is hypocrisy and it drives people away. When I hear individuals encouraging others, including teenagers and children, to be an example to others I have a little panic attack. 

Jesus Christ is the only example to others. If we try to set ourselves up as the example we will always fall short. 

Jesus Christ did not ask us to be an example to others. He asked us to be an example of the believers. These are completely different concepts. 

What does a follower of Christ (or example of a believer) look like? Certainly they can take a number of forms from Mother Teresa, to Joseph Smith, to the lady down the street. The number one thing they all have in common is that they are sinners that recognize they are in need of the grace of Jesus Christ. 

True believers don't set themselves up above anyone. 

True believers recognize that God loves all His children, not just the righteous ones, the rich ones, or the ones belonging to a certain denomination.

True believers seek out ways to show the love of Christ to others. 

True believers point others to Christ. They don't take the credit for themselves, they give it to Christ. 

Being an example of the believers is a beautiful thing. It allows the light and love of Jesus Christ to spread in a darkened world. 


I hesitate to even get started on the pre-existence elitism. We know very little about the pre-existence in general. We know nothing of our own personal choices and actions there.

Suggesting that any sort of benefit or blessing in this life is a result of your righteousness in the pre-existence is completely egotistical and implies that others are innately less deserving of blessings. Any time someone makes these statements I want to scream! Think about what you are saying for a minute!

The elitist problem is a big turn off. It sets us up as being hypocrites. Mormons aren't better than anyone. They are not more innately righteous. They are not more deserving of God's love. They are not more adept at being Christ-like. 

What Mormons claim to have is additional truth. Being "the only true church" doesn't mean that other churches are all completely bad and wrong. Mormons believe that God has given something extra to the entire world, not just the Mormons. We believe we have a duty to share that message because it is intended for everyone, not just those in the LDS Church. God didn't give this extra information to the LDS Church because they are special. He gave it to the entire world because all of His children are special. 

We can join with millions of Christians around the world in being an example of the believers.  The sheer responsibility of being an example of the believers is humbling. Being an example of the believers requires a deep sense of humility.  

Humility. Isn't it about time?

As for being an example to the unbelievers? Well, that's much better left to Jesus Christ. He never fails.